Furious

I'm not angry at this very moment, but I was yesterday. I'm lazy to type out the whole story of what happened, and why I was SO furious yesterday, but the important thing is that I'm learning. I'm learning that people just aren't who they appear to be.

The thing is...we assume people think and act similar to the way we think and act. In my mind, I assume everyone is

• honest
• real
• always say what's on their mind
• always want the best for other people
• never jealous

I am learning more and more though, that people don't think this way. In another person's corrupt mind, they are assuming other people are

• not honest
• jealous
• deceitful
• competitive
• secretive

The very reason they assume other people are this way is because they themselves are this way!!! This is the world they know! When "friends" do fucked up sneaky/deceptive shit to you, and STEAL from you, it's the betrayal that is the worst. I trust, love and always want the best for people that appear to be my "friend". The fact that I just had $2000 worth of stuff deceptively, and craft-fully stolen from me is awful, but the fact that a family "friend" is capable of this, and the betrayal involved feels like this person stole 100 times the amount! You cannot even put a value on betrayal...

I never ever ever ever wanted to think this way, but the more I grow up and the more "friends" I gain, the more I learn that people just aren't as good as I always thought they were. People are

• liars
• cheaters
• jealous
• want what you have
• want to see you fail
• competitive
• insecure
• THIEVES

My dad was always, and still is a very giving man. There's been so many occasions where people took advantage of his generosity. Interestingly enough though, he never became hardened by being "screwed over". I guess I am not the same as him. I see myself being disgusted by people more and more, and I don't want to be this way. I don't want corrupt people to make me a bitter and untrusting person. Growing up I always assumed that if you have a good heart, if you're a real, honest and generous person, then people would have no reason to backfire, and be jealous of you. Little did I know that people will find even more of a reason to be jealous. BIZAARE! I will never understand this! I can honestly admit I just have a few honest friends who will stand by me, protect me, and want the best for me. Friends that I can say ANYTHING to. I can "show off", I can speak my mind, I can be who I want to be, and know that they will be right there enjoying my successes with me. These are the kind of people who truly gain in life. Not you bloodsucking, envious mother fuckers!!! There, the fury came out finally! 

Peace!